Why do we so often reject sensible professional advice?
“No thanks. I can manage” .
Maybe it is pride? You know you cant, but “You dont want everyone else to know do you?”
It may even be aesthetic. “ My beautiful new bathroom ruined? Cheap plastic high toilet seat? Plumbers piping lining the front steps?” No, again.
Recent reports on adaptations rightly recognise that design and quality need attention. They certainly do.
But it isn’t so simple as that is it?
There is an underlying issue…It is about being labelled.
The grab rails, that toilet seat, the door ramp are signals. We hear adaptation advice as saying: “You are no longer normal. You need help” And we dont like it.
Society, via the media, unthinkingly links old age to decline, misery and uselessness. Something to be feared, something to be fought off, even ashamed of. And should you fail and it be obvious, then you are stigmatised. And old people know it!
Refusing home adaptations is one way to fight back.
In my early years as a Physio we had the identical problem with wheelchairs.
Patients refused to have them. They did not wish to be seen out in one. “I would be embarrassed”
What changed? Campaigning by disabled groups helped of course, but the biggest psychological change came with the advent of Spinal Injury Units and the publicity around Paralympic Sports. Having a wheelchair became heroic! And with the latest designs, cool and trendy. Wheelchairs and mobility scooters are now normal and to some weary shoppers, almost enviable.
Do we need that kind of socio psychological acceptance for home adaptations? Yes!
And I am happy to say , it is beginning to happen. Walk in showers are becoming normal, even desirable. No one finds them odd today. Indeed, baths are almost becoming old fashioned. Or seen as rather silly….Look at this:
Elegant? Yes! But who can safely climb in and out of that? Not the majority of us. You certainly shouldn’t invite your Grandma to use it. And not much use either if you have dislocated your shoulder at rugby.
We need a change. Not a campaign, not a lobby, but just a subtle shift. We need the recognition that all of us at some time from childhood on need sensibly designed housing and especially bathrooms.…nothing to do with ageing. Just wise. Just common sense.
Let’s ask questions. Like this:
Why should there ever be steps up to doors? All Mothers with prams have asked that? Why shouldn’t slopes be the norm?
Why isnt it seen as ordinary to have a grab bar in a shower?. Shouldn’t we assume it normal and sensible for there to be one? Could we provoke a feeling that hotels and people who don’t have one are being rather silly? How about Bathroom designers who don’t see them as automatic being equally challenged? On sense and safety grounds? Plenty of elegant designs around for them to play with.
Why not make a shower seat the latest thing to have? Easier for everyone to wash their feet!
Why isn’t it normal for toilets to have elegant optional seat heights? We are all different sizes. Surely not too difficult to design an easily adjustable seat?
And lets challeng Bathroom designers. Ask, “If someone comes to my house who has a bad knee, have you given them something to pull up with?” NOT the toilet roll holder….
In other words, lets get rid of the stigma. Let’s persuade the public that wisely planned housing is Forward thinking, and in Fashion!
Lets laugh at people who choose elegance unthinkingly.
Let’s reward AgeFriendly businesses who have thought about everyone.
Let’s create a new normal…the expectation that all public facilities have paid basic consideration to people of all ages.
Let’s persuade society that their old age is like everyone else’s , part of a normal human life: something it is sensible to adjust to.
And silly if you don’t because you risk missing out on enjoying one of the happiest periods in most people’s life.